Today I was thinking about my past struggles with anxiety, and realized its been a whole year since I stopped seeing my counselor. The reason I stopped was because we both agreed that there was no longer anything to talk about I was dealing with my anxiety very well I hadn't had a panic attack in a couple of weeks and they were becoming less frequent and less intense, I was learning to deal with them in a more productive manner. I left counseling knowing that if things were to fall apart again I could always return. Well one year later I can say that it hasn't changed I feel 1 hundred percent better and haven't had 1 episode since leaving my counseling sessions! I started to reflect on this because it is October and for as long as I can remember changing seasons have been a trigger for me, and its not an issue anymore. I am just so thankful that the Lord has been able to bring me through this. There was a time that I thought I just needed to pray, read my bible and trust more. It felt like seeking counseling would mean that I didn't trust my God to take care of me, but the truth is that it was an illness. It does not mean that I do not trust my God, if I was physically ill I would see a doctor and would never say if I just believe God will take care of me. The fact of the matter is that God has put me in a place and time where there are people who have the expertise to take care of these problems, not only that but he has given me the means to access this services.
One of my many motivations for dealing with problem once and for all was that I did want to start a family and I didn't want to bring my child into a home with a mother who was unable to deal with everyday life. I didn't want to expose him to all of my fears and insecurities and now I can say I have taken large steps towards that goal.