Friday, October 15, 2010

First blog post

I've been thinking about starting a blog, but was a little overwhelmed by the undertaking (I am not very technologically advanced) and I didn't really think I had much to say.  However it wasn't that hard to get started, and when I was in high school I kept meticulous journals.  I still have them, I don't know what to do with them but can't bear the idea of throwing them away.  It really is a snap shot into that whole era of my life and I love looking back sometimes its sad to relieve the bad times and sometimes its funny to see how naive I was but overall I like having them.  With this baby on his way I thought it would be nice to chronicle my life once again, because I know time goes by quickly and I want a snapshot of what my life was like when he was born.  I took a lot of inspiration from watching Kim and Julie doing their 365 projects, I am not a photographer by any means but I think that it is really cool for Kim and her whole family to be able to look back at her everyday life for an entire year. I hope to use the blog in that way. 

Yesterday I had my last ultrasound.  31 weeks!  This baby is on his way.  I was told he is 3lbs 11oz and looks healthy.  He is head down so he is ready to make his escape.  Which brings me to what I have been thinking lately, I have been quite afraid of labor and pretty much assumed I would have an epidural and really was very willing to hand the whole experience over to some doctor and felt like saying "wake me up when its over please". But a certain somebody blogged about a movie called "the buisness of being born"  which got me thinking a lot and researching a lot.  Now before I say what I am about to say, I would like to say (whew that was alot of says in sentence) this is not a reflection of how I feel ALL women should do things.  I think its a personal choice that you need to be made with prayer and much discussion.  After research and prayer and discussion with hubby, I have come to the conclusion that I want a natural childbirth.  Now this sounds like naivity probably but, I don't think I will be disappointed in myself if I do end up needing help.  Having said that though it just really came to my attention and was laid upon my heart that I did not trust that God made me to be able to do this.  I felt that doctors and nurses took a central role in delivering the baby and while I do not want to diminish the role they play, the truth is that God put this baby in my body he has kept my baby safe thus far.  He has allowed me to be healthy enough to carry this baby, he has designed my body in such a way that not only can it support the baby and help him grow but it can deliver him into the world.  So having said all that I feel that having a natural birth and being open to that experience is way for me to show that I trust the lord. And again in no way does that mean if you have an epidural you don't trust God that is not what I am saying at all.  This is just something I feel I need to do for my own personal growth.

9 comments:

  1. Glad to see you've jumped on the blogging bandwagon! It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into your decision to have natural childbirth (if possible), so that is really good! I, personally, don't think I could ever do that, but all the power to you if you want to!
    Glad to hear the baby is doing well! =) Hope you are as well.

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  2. I'm so glad you are blogging!
    I commend you for talking about this so openly and publicly, Amy. I was just talking to Clay this evening, wrestling with how much I should or shouldn't say on my blog about some things, not sure how much my words help or just rock the boat and make people think I'm crazy. I had determined I needed to censor myself more, and now I'm reconsidering that decision thanks to your heroic and very lovingly written words.

    You are so right. Your body was made to carry and birth your child. Pregnancy and birth are not problems to be delivered of, but gifts to embrace and an opportunity to bring praise and glory to God. I hear your heart and that you're not making a blanket statement for all women to do away with drugs. They have a place, in my opinion they just shouldn't have such a prominent place.

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  3. Kim, I really have never had a censor and maybe I should. I am aware that I shouldn't be flippant, which is not something I think you have ever been. I enjoy your blog it makes me think and you don't even know how much you have influenced me already. I try hard to surround myself with strong christian women who are doing things that I want to do or be, because I think that is how we grow.

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  4. I'm so excited to read your blog!
    First: I think this was a great way to approach things. Self-awareness is so important as Christians - not everyone asks themselves why they're doing stuff - and kudos to you for taking this approach. I really gives God glory. Especially knowing your struggles with trusting God in the past - I'm really praising Him now. :)
    Second: Speaking as one who has had (and loved! I shall not lie! lol...) 2 epidurals, I was in no way taken aback by what you wrote. :) I also appreciate your pragmatic approach ("I won't be disappointed with myself if I end up needing help") because that really is the best anyone can do. Trusting God that He'll give you the wisdom/discernment/endurance to get to the end goal (holding your little guy!) seems like such a healthy idea. If you keep that perspective you're gonna be one relaxed mama. :)
    Much love to you, dear one. :)

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  5. PS Kim: I don't think you're crazy and I read your blog(s) all the time. :)

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  6. I am glad you are blogging too! It is kind of funny how your thought process is actually the opposite of what mine was. At first I was so sure I wanted to have a natural birth, mostly because I did not want anything affecting my baby during labor (which epidurals do not according to my doctor), but then as I got closer to the end, especially the last week when I was having a ton of pre-labor contractions and cramping, I realized that I actually might want an epidural after all since I knew labor would be way more intense than what I was feeling. I basically went in with the same view you have, about wanting to try naturally, but not being disappointed if I had an epidural (at least I think that is how you were saying you feel). Anyways, throughout my entire pregnancy I did a lot of research on pain relief (both natural and medicated) although I never took any breathing classes (just the breathing they teach you in regular prenatal class), and I also watched the Business of Being Born. That movie was actually part of why I was so anti-epidural at first, but to be honest, even though it was a really great, interesting movie, I think it kind of misinformed me when it came to epidurals. After watching the movie, I was so convinced that if I got an epidural I would also definitely need pitocin or some other medication to speed up labor because epidurals slow it down so much (according to the movie and a lot of sources) and then I would have stronger contractions which would be hard on baby and make it more likely for a c-section, etc. and basically I felt that if I got an epidural it would just lead to one intervention after another, which is totally not true at all. Anyways, I decided to ask my doctor about epidurals and I am so glad I did because she cleared up so much for me. She told me that the doctor who actually pioneered the walking epidural (so you are not totally numb and can still move around) is actually a Saskatoon doctor and that it does not slow down labor or mean you will get any sort of other medication to speed up labor. I told her that I still thought I would at least try naturally for a bit, but it took away the fear I had of epidurals and also helped me not worry about feeling guilty or worried if I did get one. Anyways, I know all this sounds like I am pro epidural, but that is not what I am trying to say at all. I think natural childbirth is great and I think epidurals are great - it definitely helped me since I had had only 2 hours of sleep and was honestly just too exhausted to cope really well with the pain. Obviously I could have if I had had to, but I did not have to and I was so much more relaxed and enjoyed it more after I had the epidural, so for my personal experience, it was the best thing. I definitely agree that it is a personal choice and neither choice is wrong or less womanly or more superior. I am glad you are getting informed and are considering everything prayerfully. I think you are very wise. :) Sorry this was such a long comment! I just wanted to share my point of view from the other side of things. Sometimes I feel when I ready
    articles and things about natural birth that they imply that women who have medicated hospital births are not informed at all, which is definitely not true! I was fully informed - did lots of reading, watched the movie, talked to my doctor about the options and also specifically about what it is like at RUH since it was the hospital I would be giving birth at, and I still chose to give birth in a hospital with an epidural and I did not do it because I did not know any better, but because that was how I wanted it. I honestly had a great birth experience and would not change a thing, so no matter how you do it, I really hope you feel the same way after and mostly I just pray that you will have a safe delivery and healthy baby! I am so excited for you Amy. You are nearing the end! :)

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  7. Oh wow, I took so long to write my comment that 3 comments were posted in the mean time! I think I talk too much perhaps. :P Sorry it was so lengthy! Hopefully it was at least a tiny bit helpful. I just want to say again that I am excited that you are blogging and really look forward to hearing more of your thoughts!

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  8. Hi Amy! You may not remember me ... haha ... I'm Allison's sister-in-law. But I read your post and I'm obsessed with all things baby and birth, so I thought I'd put in my 2 cents. ;)

    I think you're on the right track - planning for natural but seeing how it goes. Flexibility is key! Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it's recognized that drugs during labour (not epidurals specifically, but drugs generally) can affect the baby in things like his level of responsiveness after birth and his ability to latch on to the breast. Not that they WILL affect him, but that they may. Each woman and each baby is so different. Like Allison said, an epidural (or whatever) doesn't necessarily mean a downward spiral of interventions. But logically speaking, it's simpler and safer not to have one if you feel you can handle it. (And personally, the idea of a needle in my spine makes my hair stand on end, haha!)

    I was positive I didn't want an epidural, but during transition I kind of wanted a shot of something to take the edge off! I'm glad now that the midwife and my husband talked me through it. (Transition is when everyone thinks, "I can't do it anymore!" - and by then it's usually too late for pain drugs anyway!) ;)

    Best wishes in your labour and birth - and most of all, for a healthy baby!

    Allie

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  9. I am a blahgheur (that's Frenchugese for Blogger). Ya gotta check it out... PS - I'm sleeping with this blogger.

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