Sunday, October 31, 2010

sour morning, new hobby?

So this morning I got up with every intention of going to church.  I got ready did my hair, put on a face  and walked out the door.  As I was driving down the highway this semi was coming towards me on the other lane, as it passed by I heard an enormous thunk noise and glass came flying at me.  Shaken and not really sure of what just happened I pulled over.  A piece of ice or some other debris must have fallen off the semi.  I looked and looked at the windshield but couldn't see anything, then I looked up and right above the mirror, there was a very nice looking hole. So around I turned and headed back home, guess I wasn't supposed to go anywhere today.

In other news I think I may have found a new hobby.  I love art but I get board with doing the same thing all the time and that is when I discovered something called "scanography".  What is that?  Well, I'm glad you asked.  It is the process of arranging various household items on a computer scanner and using that to create artful pictures.  SO MUCH FUN!  Admittedly I am not very good at it yet and need to practice, but it is really cool because there are so many options.  It really is a very creative art form and forces you to look at every day objects in a different light.  There are absolutely no limit, you really could do anything.  I know I have heard a lot of artists say that they never enjoyed open ended art assignments where there were no guidelines or limits, because they felt there were too many possibilities and they couldn't focus.  I have always felt the opposite way, guidelines limit me and put me in a box I like the freedom of anything being possible.  This is the first time I think I have been overwhelmed with possibility.
with out further delay I will show you what I have tried so far... I think its a working progress.  Attempt number 1

 I'm not crazy about.. so I tried again...
 Glass beads, feathers, steak knives and a couch pillow.... not bad.  Then I tried to recreate a painting idea I had in my head that never seemed to work out.

Its clear I need more practice.  I'm sure you'll see more of these in the future.  So much fun, and I'm already scowering the house for objects that will look cool, I have a few ideas.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Screaming daisies

Inspiration stole my entire afternoon, but I am happy with the results.
Hopefully I can spend some time on art work while I am on mat leave.  Who knows when I will have the time or the energy to work on it again.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Greatful, thankful reflection

Today I was thinking about my past struggles with anxiety, and realized its been a whole year since I stopped seeing my counselor.  The reason I stopped was because we both agreed that there was no longer anything to talk about I was dealing with my anxiety very well I hadn't had a panic attack in a couple of weeks and they were becoming less frequent and less intense, I was learning to deal with them in a more productive manner. I left counseling knowing that if things were to fall apart again I could always return.  Well one year later I can say that it hasn't changed I feel 1 hundred percent better and haven't had 1 episode since leaving my counseling sessions!  I started to reflect on this because it is October and for as long as I can remember changing seasons have been a trigger for me, and its not an issue anymore.   I am just so thankful that the Lord has been able to bring me through this.  There was a time that I thought I just needed to pray, read my bible and trust more.  It felt like seeking counseling would mean that I didn't trust my God to take care of me, but the truth is that it was an illness.  It does not mean that I do not trust my God, if I was physically ill I would see a doctor and would never say if I just believe God will take care of me.  The fact of the matter is that God has put me in a place and time where there are people who have the expertise to take care of these problems, not only that but he has given me the means to access this services.
One of my many motivations for dealing with problem once and for all was that I did want to start a family and I didn't want to bring my child into a home with a mother who was unable to deal with everyday life.  I didn't want to expose him to all of my fears and insecurities and now I can say I have taken large steps towards that goal.

Monday, October 18, 2010

The tale of a nursery

Thanks to a lot of elbow grease and only a little complaining from Michael the nursery is finished!

Sorta a before picture Mikey just finished the ceiling and is working on trim.
The finished room ( well part of it) The crib and the mural.  The mural was really frustrating and took us until 2:00am one night to get it down, but I am so happy with the results it looks great.

The change table filled with clothe diapers.   Washed stuffed with liners, set to the smallest size ready to go.

Dresser and more of the mural.
A full view of  the mural with no furniture in way.  Like I said it may have been a pain in the butt, but I am really happy with it.
I also love the colors we chose and actually I have to give Mikey credit for the yellow wall trim 'cause he picked it out.

Also I was really surprised with all the views already, I really did not expect that many people to read it, and at first I thought "oh, maybe I should not have written that because so many people saw it."  But I have decided I am happy with it and I think that I want to just be genuine and not worry about who is reading it.  If I am just honest and myself then I have nothing to worry about.

Friday, October 15, 2010

First blog post

I've been thinking about starting a blog, but was a little overwhelmed by the undertaking (I am not very technologically advanced) and I didn't really think I had much to say.  However it wasn't that hard to get started, and when I was in high school I kept meticulous journals.  I still have them, I don't know what to do with them but can't bear the idea of throwing them away.  It really is a snap shot into that whole era of my life and I love looking back sometimes its sad to relieve the bad times and sometimes its funny to see how naive I was but overall I like having them.  With this baby on his way I thought it would be nice to chronicle my life once again, because I know time goes by quickly and I want a snapshot of what my life was like when he was born.  I took a lot of inspiration from watching Kim and Julie doing their 365 projects, I am not a photographer by any means but I think that it is really cool for Kim and her whole family to be able to look back at her everyday life for an entire year. I hope to use the blog in that way. 

Yesterday I had my last ultrasound.  31 weeks!  This baby is on his way.  I was told he is 3lbs 11oz and looks healthy.  He is head down so he is ready to make his escape.  Which brings me to what I have been thinking lately, I have been quite afraid of labor and pretty much assumed I would have an epidural and really was very willing to hand the whole experience over to some doctor and felt like saying "wake me up when its over please". But a certain somebody blogged about a movie called "the buisness of being born"  which got me thinking a lot and researching a lot.  Now before I say what I am about to say, I would like to say (whew that was alot of says in sentence) this is not a reflection of how I feel ALL women should do things.  I think its a personal choice that you need to be made with prayer and much discussion.  After research and prayer and discussion with hubby, I have come to the conclusion that I want a natural childbirth.  Now this sounds like naivity probably but, I don't think I will be disappointed in myself if I do end up needing help.  Having said that though it just really came to my attention and was laid upon my heart that I did not trust that God made me to be able to do this.  I felt that doctors and nurses took a central role in delivering the baby and while I do not want to diminish the role they play, the truth is that God put this baby in my body he has kept my baby safe thus far.  He has allowed me to be healthy enough to carry this baby, he has designed my body in such a way that not only can it support the baby and help him grow but it can deliver him into the world.  So having said all that I feel that having a natural birth and being open to that experience is way for me to show that I trust the lord. And again in no way does that mean if you have an epidural you don't trust God that is not what I am saying at all.  This is just something I feel I need to do for my own personal growth.